In the Lost Lands

by Mike McGranaghan

I approached In the Lost Lands with excitement. It’s the latest effort from Paul W.S. Anderson, the director of Event Horizon and the Resident Evil franchise, starring his wife and frequent collaborator Milla Jovovich, together with Dave Bautista. And it’s based on a George R.R. Martin story, to boot. That sounded like the recipe for some wild, action-heavy fun. My excitement wore off within fifteen minutes. This is not so much a movie as it is filmed cosplay.

Jovovich plays Gray Alys, a sorceress tasked by the Queen with stealing the power from a shapeshifter who can turn into a werewolf. To do this, she needs to traverse the apocalyptic “Lost Lands.” Bautista is Boyce, a drifter familiar with the region whom she hires to assist. Their journey takes them through a series of distinctly perilous locations, where enemies both human and demonic await.

A lot of In the Lost Lands is bad in a conventional way, from the weak, confusing screenplay to the cardboard characters. The two leads are fine, but some of the other performances are poor, most notably Amara Okereke as the Queen. Her efforts to project malice are completely, embarrassingly unconvincing. She might as well be playing Snidely Whiplash.

The movie additionally hauls out every action trope imaginable, including two combatants jumping toward each other in slow motion and our heroes (twice) getting knocked down by a blast. A scene in which Bautista’s character gets attacked by a creature that strongly resembles Groot proves unintentionally funny. It also makes you wish you were watching one of the Guardians of the Galaxy pictures instead.

What puts the film in a special category of bad is the poor quality of the visuals. It is painfully obvious that the majority was filmed against a green screen. An artificial look hobbles the entire thing. None of the locations seem real, and that, in turn, significantly undercuts the action taking place in those locations. Shots of Gray Alys and Boyce riding horses are especially fakey. Those rare shots that aren’t all CGI fare no better, relying on backlit close-ups to hide that the actors are working on a sparse set. A fantasy movie needs to transport viewers to another world; when the world is overloaded with digital ugliness, transportation proves impossible.

It's a shame, because one or two neat ideas sneak in. An action sequence involving a school bus attached to a zipline had potential, as did one where hideous creatures are kept at bay by igniting barrels full of gasoline. Jovovich and Bautista are undeniably up to the task of onscreen fighting. The stars are sadly stuck inside a chintzy-looking production with special effects resembling something a 13-year-old boy would create on his laptop.

After ninety minutes of half-hearted world-building, the plot tries to tie together all the stuff it has introduced but done nothing with. A massive exposition dump after the climax is required to explain what just happened. Even then, it doesn’t make an ounce of sense. Despite a notable director and two popular actors, In the Lost Lands feels inescapably amateurish.

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