The Friend

by Mike McGranaghan

“How do you explain death to a dog?” That question is asked by Iris (Naomi Watts) in The Friend. The movie addresses it thoughtfully, inferring that doing so is impossible, given that we, as humans, struggle to understand death. When we can barely wrap our heads around it, how can an animal be expected to? Now, a movie about death that revolves around a dog will probably sound like a great big ”Nope!” to a lot of people. Rest assured, this is not Marley & Me or My Dog Skip. Directors Scott McGehee and David Siegel (Montana Story) have made a warm, vibrant, not-depressing film depicting the emotional journey we go on following a loss.

Writer Iris’s best friend and mentor was Walter (Bill Murray). He recently committed suicide, leaving her feeling a mixture of sadness and anger. Walter’s wife Barbara (Noma Dumezweni) asks her to care for her late husband’s pet, a Great Dane named Apollo (played by canine thespian Bing). She has no desire, and her apartment building doesn’t allow animals, but she feels guilty saying no after learning this was Walter’s wish. Iris promptly attempts to rehome Apollo. Then she notices that he, too, is grieving. Identifying a common bond with the dog offers both of them a chance to find a little bit of healing.

Woven throughout the story are flashbacks that establish the bond between Iris and Walter. There’s also a moment showing how Walter found Apollo. These scenes are beautifully acted by Watts and Murray, reunited here a decade after the underrated St. Vincent. More importantly, they help to establish why Iris takes Apollo, even as he threatens to jeopardize her living situation – and refuses to budge from her bed.

That Watts could spark chemistry with Murray is no surprise. What is surprising – pleasantly so – is that she sparks chemistry with Bing. The story is affecting in how it shows Iris realizing she’s not alone in her mourning. Apollo is mourning, too, and their shared grief transcends species. Knowing there’s somebody else grappling with a life-changing sense of loss helps her to feel less alone. The bereaved Apollo similarly starts to find his way through from the compassion she shows him.

The Friend could have been a dopey comedy about a woman stuck caring for an oversized dog. It similarly could have been a sappy death drama. Miraculously, it is neither. Rather than going for cheap laughs or easy sentiment, the movie unfolds with a series of truthful observations that will be identifiable to any viewer who has ever lost a loved one. Does it sound weird to say this is an uplifting movie about death? The screenplay takes Iris from a place of despondence to a place of acceptance, reminding us that we can find our way through grief despite the fact that it often seems overwhelming.

Aside from sparkling performances from Naomi Watts and Bill Murray, The Friend has scenes that are funny, others that are alternately heartbreaking and heartwarming. The film hits you in an emotional spot because it focuses on the universality of loss, reminding us that the support of others, human or animal, is key to carrying on with life.

---