Cold Storage

by Mike McGranaghan

Cold Storage is the kind of movie where you walk away thinking, “What did I just watch?” In a good way, though. Writer David Koepp (Jurassic Park) adapted the screenplay from his own novel. Based on the unrelenting craziness of the plot, I have to wonder if he was perhaps sick with a dangerously high fever when he conceived it. Again, in a good way.

The first half-hour is a little sluggish as it strains to set up the premise. Travis (Joe Keery) works in a self-storage facility. Years ago, it was a government laboratory where a deadly fungus was cryogenically frozen to prevent it from spreading. That virus has been unleashed, which Travis and new coworker Naomi (Georgina Campbell) discover when they stumble across a sealed-off portion of the building. Meanwhile, bioterrorism agent Robert Quinn (Liam Neeson) is called in to contain the fungus.

Once the concept is established, Cold Storage becomes a lot of fun. Travis and Naomi run around the halls of the storage facility as outsiders make their way in and get infected. The fungus turns its victims into mutated versions of themselves. What it does to a pack of rats will have viewers with musophobia freaking out in their seats. Others will laugh at how amusingly gross it is. A deer also enters the building, as do Naomi’s ex-boyfriend Mike (Aaron Heffernan), the facility’s cranky manager Griffin (Gavin Spokes), and a gang of bikers.

For extra entertainment, the movie features the legendary Vanessa Redgrave as an elderly woman who comes in to retrieve something from her unit. I would love to know what went through her mind when she read the script. To her credit, she’s totally game.

Directed by Jonny Campbell, Cold Storage achieves humor by contrasting the dire nature of the situation with the goofy way it unfolds. The transformations are played for macabre laughs rather than for pure horror. Many of the people who fall victim to the fungus are jerks, making it pleasurable to see them get a gruesome comeuppance. Scenes with mutated animals underline the tone, offering sights so bizarre you can’t avoid chuckling.

The actors bring an additional comedic element. Keery’s baffled reactions as Travis are hilarious, as are the deadpan comments Neeson makes as Quinn. Imagine Taken’s Bryan Mills hunting down mutated humans to get an idea of how that plays. Georgina Campbell (Barbarian) is the MVP. The actress gives a lively performance, nailing the screenplay’s one-liners and providing Naomi with an appealingly defiant streak. She continues to be a rising star.

Cold Storage doesn’t amount to a whole lot in terms of substance. It does, however, absolutely deliver as an excursion into weirdness. Surrender to the insanity and you’ll have a ball.

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