Cellar Door

by Mike McGranaghan

Cellar Door made me actively angry. The film itself is mostly mediocre. What it does during its third act, however, is a total cheat. Director Vaughn Stein and writers Sam Scott and Lori Evans Taylor utterly waste the viewer’s time by promising something they have no intention of delivering. All three of them should be ashamed of themselves.

The premise is irresistible. John (Scott Speedman) and Sera (Jordana Brewster) are looking to make a new start following a devastating miscarriage. A real estate agent introduces them to Emmett (Laurence Fishburne), a well-connected man who lives in a big, beautiful mansion that he just happens to want to unload. Emmett makes them a deal: they can have the place for free, provided they agree never to open the cellar door out back.

For a very brief time, the movie is fun. John is naturally curious, figuring that whatever’s down there is something they need to know about. Sera doesn’t care. She just wants to enjoy their new home and therefore doesn’t like it when her husband starts poking around. We’re prepped for a psychological chiller based on the question of whether or not temptation can be fought.

This intrigue is short-lived, as Cellar Door morphs into a dull domestic drama in which John’s jealous ex-girlfriend Alyssa (Addison Timlin) makes a sexual harassment allegation against him, putting his job at risk. Why we should even remotely care about this given the mystery of the basement is unclear. Nevertheless, it ends up consuming a significant amount of the movie’s running time.

During the last act, the focus shifts back to the door, but in the wrong way. The entire finale hinges on a character suddenly, implausibly having a total personality change. The “twist” is too predictable and hokey to work. Worse than that – and this is the film’s fatal flaw – is the fact that there is never a scene where John and/or Sera open the cellar door. For 90 minutes, we’re teased with the prospect of what might be down there, only to have the answer completely withheld from us. Oh, there’s a throwaway line of dialogue telling us. Who wants that, though? For a movie to have this concept and then deny viewers the very thing it’s been promising is unconscionable.

What is the point? Who would want to see a movie with such little respect for the audience? Needless to say, watching Cellar Door is an aggravating experience, one that you, my reader, would be wise not to put yourself through.

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